Blackout

I feel so stupid.
and now i feel like i need to hate you.
you lied to me.
you promised that i'd be the only one in your heart.
you lied.
because now i find out,
that im not the only one.
i knew about one.
yes that one.
but you told me you'd let it go
that she'd be your past
from the present and onwards.
but here i am
in the corner of my little room
and the voice in my head
screaming at me
the echo
of my friend
telling me about the others
about you
and the others
and now i feel so fucking stupid.
because i fell into your web of lies
and now my heart stings
with the pain of you
its like u cut open my healing wound
and rubbed salt on it
thank u so much
you've made my life a bed of nails now
thank u.
no amount of words u will have to say
can make this better
can make this feeling go away
so you just stand there
looking dumb
and let me fall apart
and you can walkaway anytime
because i am not your responsibility
you dont have to pretend you love me anymore.
i dont give a damned
you're making me feel bitter
you're making me ache in my heart
but i dont care
i dont want to
i dont need to
my life is still a story being told
and the rest, as they say
is still unwritten
but the parts with u in it
i shall just
black out.
because the memories hurt too much