I remembered

today i remembered
what it felt to be in your arms again
i felt your skin against mine
i felt your heartbeat
Like i used to feel it
when you held me close
i felt you breathe
ever so slowly, silent breaths

today i remembered
how it felt to love you all over again
i wish we could go back to that time
that time when i felt safe
whenever you were near
that time when all the hurt in the world
mattered nothing
because i had you

today i remembered
what it feels like to feel alone again
i know what it's like now to feel so lost
to lose yourself, to trip and fall
to not have that crutch to hold you up
i lost my balance a long time ago
and you weren't there to pull me up
when i needed you the most.

Those days we had, were the best parts of my life. To this day, you're still a part of my heart. You always will be. You were, are, my first real love. Your laugh, still makes me laugh the way it did before. Your lame jokes, still make me crack up as much as they did before. You made me laugh all the time. Yeah, we had those rough times, but those dont even seem to matter anymore.
You're not mine to love anymore.
But I'm okay with that now.
I'd rather have you in my life as my friend, then not at all.
♥